


He Want That Cake

by AFireInTheAttic



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: F/M, First Time, Lydia and Kira frienship, Prankster!Stiles, discussion of sex without the actual sex part, sex positivity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-09
Updated: 2014-02-09
Packaged: 2018-01-11 18:55:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1176661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AFireInTheAttic/pseuds/AFireInTheAttic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lydia slides into the seat across from Kira at lunch time. “I heard you and Scott hooked up this weekend.”</p>
<p>Kira stops eating her Pringles to gape at her. “I—what? How did you hear that?”</p>
<p>"Oh, honey," she says, looking at her piteously. "You don’t even know what’s coming, do you?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	He Want That Cake

**Author's Note:**

> Anonymous asked: “Scott tells stiles about his and Kira's first time.”
> 
> this is probably not what you wanted but i immediately thought about how stiles doesn’t seem to like kira very much and is also a punk
> 
> and then this happened???
> 
> wow this is really silly (but cute i hope?)

Lydia slides into the seat across from Kira at lunch time. “I heard you and Scott hooked up this weekend.”

Kira stops eating her Pringles to gape at her. “I—what? How did you hear that?”

"Oh, honey," she says, looking at her piteously. "You don’t even know what’s coming, do you?"

Her phone buzzes with a text from Scott. All it says is, “I’m so sorry!!”

"What?" she mumbles, looking up to ask Lydia for clarification.

Instead, she nearly gets a face full of cake. 

"Stiles," she gasps. "Wha—"

He smiles smugly at her and sets the cake in front of her. 

She looks down and feels herself go cold. Oh,  _shit_. 

Stiles is kind of a jerk, in the way that teenage boys are. She’s known this for a while. Hanging out with Scott means she gets to know his friends. And while she  _gets_  that Stiles is having a rough time, supernaturally speaking, it’s not like she doesn’t have her own issues. So there’s honestly no reason for this.

"We’re at school," she hisses, unable to tear her eyes away from the cake in front of her. "Where my  _father works_.”

Stiles hums. “I guess I didn’t really think about that,” he admits.

"Shit, get it out of here," she gasps, shoving the cake across the table.

Lydia looks down at it and rolls her eyes. “Stiles, this is boring and unoriginal.” She smears her fingers through the blue frosting until the words are  _slightly_  less readable. She licks the frosting off her finger.

"Congrats on the sex," the cake says. Congrats. On the  _sex_.

That explains the apology text, at least.

"Anyway, are you going to tell me about it?" Lydia asks. "Allison never would." 

Stiles sputters, apparently not expecting this turn of events. “You cannot do that!” 

Kira glares up at him. “You are aware that you just announced my sex life in a place my dad could  _easily_  overhear?”

" _See_ , technically."

She looks back to Lydia. “What do you want to know?”

Lydia beams and smears more of the blue icing. “How big is it?”

Stiles whines and covers his ears. Then he thinks better of it and tries to reach across the table to cover Kira’s mouth. “Don’t!”

She leans back. “I mean, I didn’t measure him. And I don’t have a lot to compare it to. But it was satisfactory?”

Lydia purses her lips. “Make something up.”

"Six," she tries. It’s not received well so she adds, "And…a half?"

She nods, satisfied.

"Stop, please," Stiles begs. "I’ll get rid of the cake. Just. Please."

Kira smears the rest of the words with one finger, and looks questioningly at Lydia while she sucks it off her finger.

"Did he eat you out? I feel like Scott would be very concerned with it being good for you. And probably good at taking direction. I had to train Jackson. And don’t even get me started on Aiden." She swipes her fingers into the icing again.

Stiles opens his mouth, apparently to reply.

Lydia points her icing covered finger at him. “Don’t.” Then she turns her attention back to Kira. “Well?”

She feels herself turning pink. At least the cake is unreadable, now, but her Dad could walk by at any time. Subtly, she looks around. The coast is clear for now. She nods, still blushing.

Just then, Scott comes in through the doors. He meets Kira’s eyes almost immediately, looks vaguely panicked, and starts hurrying across the cafeteria.

Apparently unaware of his approach (though Kira wouldn’t be surprised if she knew exactly where Scott was), Lydia leans forward. “Is he pretty when he comes?”

Scott freezes across the cafeteria, still in her line of sight.

She looks up at him and smiles slowly. “Very.”

Stiles, fingers jammed into his ears, slumps. “I can’t believe I am hearing this. I can’t believe it. I’m—I’m shutting down.”

"Go get me a knife, then," Lydia says, flapping a hand at him. "Your cake seems worthy of consumption."

Grumbling, he walks away to take care of it. He nods to Scott as he brushes by him, pausing only briefly to shake him. He says something, but he’s too far away to hear.

"Now that he’s gone, tell me  _everything,”_ Lydia demands. She pulls out a salad and starts shaking it to mix it. “I need to know this, since I’m obviously never going to experience it.”

"Obviously?" Kira repeats.

"Well, you two will last for a while," she replies, waving a hand. "So now I need to live vicariously through you."

She glances over to Scott, who’s started to move again. He smiles at her, still blushing and waves a little.

She smiles back, and ducks her face to hide her giggles. “I’ll tell you  _everything_ , but maybe not here? My dad likes to check in on me.”

"Later, then," Lydia says, just as Scott slides into the seat next to Kira. To him, she says, "Don’t worry. Only good things, Scott." 

"Yep," he says, but pointedly looks away from her. He leans into Kira’s space, hooking his chin on her shoulder. "Are you mad?"

"That you told your best friend we had sex?" she says doubtfully. "No. Although I’m really worried about his ability to handle things like this. He almost cried when I—" Maybe she can’t handle it either. She’s not sure she can actually explain that she was trying to estimate the size of his penis. That’s weird, right? Shouldn’t she just know? She’s been  _pretty_  close to it at this point.

"I told him the cake was a bad idea," Scott says, and then sighs. "But you know Stiles. He just…does things."

"I do not," Stiles protests, as he reaches the table. He hands Lydia the plastic silverware, and she slices into the cake. "Or I guess I do," he admits, looking down at the smeared icing. "But on the bright side, you have cake."

It’s pretty good cake, too.

**Author's Note:**

> originally posted at imagreatbowler on tumblr.


End file.
